Why Me?

 Have you ever wondered why nothing is going your way? You feel like everything you try to do just isn’t working. Well if you have, then you understand struggle and hardship. In life these moments happen, sometimes more often than we want them to. I know they happen to me, whether it’s job related or relationship related I seem to run into instances where I think, “Why Me?” Because when I look around it feels like no one is going through problems at all except me. But then I remember something a mentor of mine told me when I was a senior in high school, “Everyone is either at the beginning, half-way point, or just finished going through their own problem.” With that  information it helped realize that I wasn’t ever really alone in my life to talk to people about things. For example, my wife and I always stress about our health, because we have our own personal goals of what health we want to be at. Well we didn’t know both of us stressed out about it until we sat down and had a long talk about our daily stressors. Now that might have been the only stressor that we both had that came together, but that is something we can relate and talk about and work with. So remember that if you are facing problems and stress, please talk about it to somebody. Because bottling it up is only a temporary fix, and when that bottle busts open your problems might get a lot worse. Ok now it’s time for my favorite part. One thing to do make you feel better hopefully and help with some of your stressors. Find somewhere that makes you calm whether that is at home in your closet, sitting on the back porch, or even sitting looking out the window find that spot that makes you absolutely calm. Once you find that spot I want you to take a piece of paper and I want you to write down everything that hurts, stresses and/or brings problems into your life, and when you’re done with that I want you to get another piece of paper and write down solutions or ways to create solutions for all of them, and if you can’t think of any that’s ok. Then put those papers somewhere so you can look at them often, and start to visualize yourself completing the solutions you wrote down. I can almost guarantee you will start to feel better. You might even gain new and healthy habits to keep you happy. And when those problems come knocking on your door, you’re not gonna hide from them. You are gonna open that door and you’re gonna invite them in because you know how to handle them. Thank you for your time reading this, if you made it this far. If you didn’t make it this far, I hope you are able to find peace and solutions to your problems, because we all got them. You are loved, and people care about you, so take those and make your world better!

Let It Out

 Hello everyone, welcome back or welcome to the blog! I am very excited to have you here and hope everything you read is up to good standards. I am new to the blog world, and would like to give everyone superior posts to read. If you see something that I should change I would love to hear anyone’s feedback. The sole purpose of this blog is to let people follow me and my journey with my wife to rebuild our marriage one step at a time, and for me to become a better person. I type on this blog because I know I’m not the only person going through a situation like this, and I would hope that when you read my posts it gives you a sense of comfort rather than thinking that your world is just going to crumble down. Now with all that being said I would like to continue forward with the blog post. Getting things out in the open to your partner can be one of the scariest things to do, but after it is said and done it is one of the most satisfying. For example, my wife hasn’t been feeling good mentally lately, and she talked to me about it and even told me the solution. Which was the fact that we had missed the gym for a little while. Now if she wouldn’t have said anything, then we both would have just been thinking it. Because for roughly the same amount of time I felt the exact same for the same reason! So if something is on your mind, don’t be afraid to talk to someone, especially your partner about it. And if you’re able to, let them know the solution, because it makes it way easier for them then trying to guess! Now most probably know this, but I’m putting this out there anyway! If you haven’t told your partner how much they mean to you, then that is your goal for today! And with that I hope everyone has a lovely day!

A Read For The Better

  

 Hello readers, if you have read the previous blogs welcome back, and if you are new to the blog, thank you and welcome here. As previously talked about I am taking you on a journey of personal self-development, and healing in my marriage. Together we have learned that the more we do together, the stronger our bond becomes. With that being said we have started working out together, which has been quite a challenge because sometimes after getting home from work we just feel too exhausted to go, but to see results we know that putting in the work is a key part. We have also started praising each other for one thing that we had done during the day, because who doesn’t feel good after being told they did amazing in a situation that their significant other actually noticed! We also have been eating better food for us, which has helped us start losing weight, and give us healthier gut bacteria! Going to a more personal level, I have started listening to audiobooks instead of music. My goal by doing this is to improve my ability to actively listen and increase my vocabulary, so far it has helped slightly, which is still a step in the right direction. I have started holding myself to a higher standard of cleanliness in the household so my wife doesn’t feel like she is the one doing all the work around the house, which helps her be less stressed which is a HUGE plus for our relationship. If you are someone who might be struggling in their relationship, or has done something that they probably regret. It is not too late for your partner and yourself to pick up the pieces and continue along in your journey together. It is not too late for you to personally change yourself for the better, it is a humbling experience if you have put yourself there, but once all is said and done then you will understand how it is worth it. Again thank you for being here and reading my blog, and remember that you are appreciated and that you are able to do anything as long as you have the drive to achieve it.

The Day My Life Changed

    My wife and I had been married for around a month, and she had just moved into the house that I was living in before she discovered what had happened. The day my wife discovered that I had cheated on her started out as a normal day. I went to work and she was still looking for a job while being at home just cleaning it and keeping it organized. As work went on a buddy of mine asked if I could give him a ride to the airport. During the drive I got a phone call from my wife asking whose name was on a piece of paper she had found, hearing this my heart dropped into my stomach and my throat kind of tightened up and I wasn’t able to talk on the phone.Driving home my mind was racing, because I had been lying to her for so long that I didn’t know what to do now that I have been caught. I thought about how I could keep lying, but I knew it was time to stop. After arriving home I found that my wife was not there. I called her quite a few times before she finally called me and told me where she was and that she had gone for a walk to clear her head, and of course to cry a bit. I picked her up and when we got home I told her everything that happened. After telling her everything I will never forget her reaction, the amount of tears yet calmness in our conversation. After that conversation and for a week she stayed at a family-friends house until deciding to come back to the house where I lived. After moving back in with me, she slept on the couch and I slept on the bed even though I tried to get her to switch with me, she wouldn’t, by the way our house was a 400 square feet studio. After a week of that, she made up her mind to forgive me and stay with me, but that came as a joyous shock to me because I was ready for her to leave and not turn back. After forgiving me and coming back home she said we needed to do marriage counseling which I humbly and joyfully agreed to. Before we started counseling though I had already started doing daily devotionals with my Bible, because it is a step for me to become a better man. Devotionals are a great step for any Christian to get closer to God, because you can find a devotional that covers any topic you need. Now, after taking initiative and starting to grow myself from being a broken man, we started counseling. Our first meeting went great for the both of us because it gave us someone that knew what to ask us and help us continue on the path we had chosen. During the meeting our counselor asked us to rate our marriage from 1-10 and of course our numbers were quite low. She was a 1, and I was a 4 but he understood and gave us homework to do as a couple, our homework was to sit facing each other, holding hands for 10 minutes without talking. It was actually one of the hardest things to do because we wanted to say something, but for a quiet 10 minutes it was very refreshing. We met with the counselor once a week for a few weeks up until the counselor told us that we should see how we do if we take a week off,  and during that time my wife had gotten a job and we were beginning to move a few hours from where we had been living. With all that going on you can only imagine the stress that it was for the both of us trying to mend our marriage and go into full move out mode. After moving to our new place it was a great fresh start for the both of us and it helped us move on to another step in rebuilding our marriage by creating new memories to replace our old ones. That brings us to the present and that’s when I decided that people need to hear my story and see healing is possible mentally and physically, and I am going to take you on this journey with me.

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The Beginning

 It all started about four and a half years ago when my wife and I started dating. We were still kids at 18 years old, and still trying to figure ourselves out. We were both ready to end high school and head to college to continue our lives, but the hardest problem was that the next part of our lives would separate us from one side of the U.S. to the other. Like the kids we were, we chose to stay together while living so far apart from each other. What we realized was that from work to school, our long distance relationship was the hardest of all to keep solid. We started fighting more often, breaking up just to get back together, and almost everything that could bring each other down and then back up. After the hard times of that 1st semester with school, work and sports just overwhelming me I dropped out of college and came back home and started working just to have a paycheck while my girlfriend (now wife) was in school still chasing her dreams and going forward. Now after awhile of working and trying to figure myself out still going from dead end job to dead end job I decided to join the military. I know, big surprise, I did what all people joke about doing because they have nowhere to go, but for some reason I knew that it was the right decision for my life and career choice. Now at this point my girlfriend and I have worked out our quirks and we were really comfortable with where we were at as a couple and continued to stay together through it all. After boot camp we got to spend some time together, but the hardest thing was that my girlfriend had just applied and got accepted to study abroad in Australia. After she left for Australia it became almost impossible to talk to each other with her class schedule and my work schedule. At this point, we are again growing distant from each other and our relationship was honestly just crumbling down, and in a moment of weakness I reached out to a woman to have a talk with. Now just because this woman and I didn’t sleep together, I still kept it from my girlfriend and that was wrong. Well until my girlfriend and I got married, I had met with this woman around 3 times. After we got married I was hoping that it would all go away. I had cut ties with this woman, but there are certain things that always come up, and one of those is the truth. Unfortunately, I didn’t tell my wife, she discovered it and I had to confess everything to her and we found out that we didn’t know each other as well as we thought because I had just done the worst thing someone could do to their significant other. And after about a month or more of confessing and apologizing, my wife chose to forgive me and said we could still rebuild our marriage. Now as a man in a marriage under construction, my role was and is to become a better man both mentally and physically. So now, present day us, we are still rebuilding our marriage and I have been growing as a man and learning things I can do to become a better person for me and my wife; whether that be devotional in the morning or evening or talking to more mature men about what to do. From beginning to now, even with all the bumps and heart aches in between I am happy and proud to have a second chance with my wife. Her heart and feelings will always be on my mind and my self development will always be in my eyes. Along this journey that I am on, I hope to achieve mental and physical improvement while building my marriage back up from where it has plummeted. 

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Daily Do

Here will be something to try each day for your own self development.

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